


Slip of the Tongue

by Vanilla (Shinjaroni)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Comedy, Crude Humor is another way to word it, F/M, Inappropriate Humor, Parody, but i do plan on developing romance somehow, crackfic, not sure what you'd call this story other than crack, this is almost pure crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-06-09 06:14:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6893389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinjaroni/pseuds/Vanilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was doing his very best.<br/>That should be all that matters, right?</p><p>Unfortunately, there had to be something seriously wrong with this boy.</p><p>[Kise x Reader]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beat a Dead Horse to Death

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, ya'll!  
> This is my first story for Ao3. I hope you like it!
> 
> I've been wanting to write something weird and lighthearted for a while and this little idea was made.
> 
> It pokes fun at Kise but... it's not meant to be taken seriously! At all!  
> The rating is what it is because of the type of humor that'll eventually be used; there won't be smut or anything too explicit.
> 
> Lastly, I'm disabling anonymous comments! This is just a personal preference of mine. If you don't have an account but want to support this story, just drop a kudos. C:  
> (Sorry for those who wanted them to do the do.)

There was a wee bit of a skip in your step as you made your way to school.  Your mood was great, the weather was great, and there was nothing in the world to make any of this go wrong.

Even though there was a spider web atop the door of a building you passed and there was a bird trapped on it (it seemed to be squawking as though to say " _HELP ME_ "), the sun still shined bright.  No, you were going to pretend you didn't just bear witness to a spider the size of your head eating a pigeon.

Today was your day.  Every single day was YOUR day.  You were just so overwhelmingly positive that this godforsaken day was going to be the best day of your life.  _"Why," the viewer asks?_

Simply put, just yesterday, you had been approached by one of the most well-known dudes at your school: Ryōta Kise.  Now, do not jump to conclusions.  This almost-Aryan man-child was not the man of your dreams.

"Kise is the definition of a Sex God though!"  That's what the viewer is most likely thinking, yes?  (You look up to the sky and nod your head in agreement.  People stop and stare, wondering what you were doing that for but hey, it wasn't your job to make the world love you or think you were "normal.")  Unfortunately, he's only about 17 (going on 18) years of age.

Here's the real kick between your metaphorical legs:  you're a teacher and 28-years-old.  Sucks, doesn't it?  Sure, you're single and sure, you can imagine him with tears in his eyes and staring upward while his nude body is covered in butter as he holds up a test with his score written in red pen at the top of it.  (" _Teach me how to be an adult_ ," he'd say, sobbing a bit as he's somehow ignorant of the way the world works in this fantasy.)  Regardless of what you can or can't imagine though, you slow down your walking speed and smack your forehead against a nearby brick wall (once again ignoring the people who walk by).  You remembered giving out the test for the chapter your class is in and how adorably proud Ryōta Kise had looked as he answered the questions placed before him.

His confidence was contagious and he looked utterly proud of himself by the time he finished and laced his fingers together.  He simply stared at the front of the room then with an expression of overwhelming joy because - you were just guessing based off of years of teaching - he was positive he'd aced the test.  You were too.  His confident expression was just that believable.

That all came crashing down when you took the papers home that night and began grading them.  As you graded his test, you could feel tears welling up in your eyes and for a moment, you considered the idea of taking up drinking and/or smoking.

"How...  How can someone be born this _stupid_?"  You cried even worse that night than when your dog had died.

Returning to the present and rewinding back a few paragraphs, the boy approached you in your office yesterday.  He had a serious look on his face as he stood in the doorway.  You ushered him into the room and closed the door, inviting him to take a seat.  Silence filled the room as you returned to your desk and waited for him to say something.

"Ma'am, I wanted..."  Ryōta's quiet voice filled the room.  "Ma'am, I wanted to know if you'd help me raise my grade up!"

You blinked (Were you really old enough to be called " _ma'am_ "???) and couldn't help but stare at him as though he'd grown a second head.

"Ryōta, no matter how hard you try, the dead can't be brought back to life.  That type of miracle doesn't exist, so how do you expect to get a better grade?"  You were this close to telling him that.  Instead, you choked back a hopeless sob and just nodded your head.  A smile bloomed on his face.

Ah.

_There was no way you could do this._


	2. Swimming with Sharks and Bloodied Steaks are Attached to Your Body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miss Reader thinks about her talk with Kise ("Ryota") yesterday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun with this.
> 
> So very much.
> 
> I hope you like my chapter names. Most of them are going to be based off of the fun phrases I've developed and used over the years.
> 
> Update: As a small edit, I changed up some of the text; not much, just a small amount because the "timeline" was a little off!  
> Update #2: As ANOTHER small edit, there were some typos I went to fix.

Removing the key from your purse, you unlocked the front door to your apartment.  It'd been a long day, after all.  Glancing to your left, you stared at your mailbox, inscribed with "Miss _______" on the front in a bronze-like tag.

"I wonder when they'll add my name there instead of leaving a blank line," you muttered, stepping into the building and kicking your flats off of your feet and not caring in the slightest where they'd land.

Your fingers rubbed against your temple as you sighed heavily into the empty room and made your way to your beloved-but-beaten-up couch.  Flashing back to recent events, you'd (foolishly) agreed to help Ryōta Kise raise his grade.  The fact that you wanted to compare getting his grade up to reviving the dead just proved how much of a horrible instructor you were being.  A groan of absolute disappointment nearly escaped your lips as you sighed once more.  Sinking into your couch, you stared at your television screen (which was off at the moment) so you could drift away with your beautiful, healthy negativity.

"How did I even get this job?"  You found yourself groaning nonetheless because you think about how you oh-so dearly wanted to become a teacher many years ago.  "The economy sucks for teaching... so why am I doing this again?"  Rolling onto your side, you sighed for the umpteenth time.  "Horrible...  I'm a horrible teacher."

After basking in enough self-hatred for the night, you stood up and decided to review Ryōta's grades for the past few months.  You approached your desk in your small-but-usable bedroom and pulled out paperwork from one of your many folders.  After some basic glancing and searching, you reached a conclusion:  all-in-all, they weren't terrible.

 

That being said, they were far from great.

 

Simply put, he was passing.  That was it.  Based off of his records and with a scrunch of your nose, you immediately realized his test scores were brutally murdering his overall grade.  Because you didn't want to give up on what you'd started, however, you pulled out copies of the tests the class had taken so far; you kept copies for yourself just in case some of the little boogers decided they would bring their parents up to the school to cry about how you've "wronged them" and their grade.

 

Digging through each of the separate tests, you found and pulled out all of Ryōta's, leading to three tests in total.

"He...  He failed ALL OF THEM."  Your fingers returned to their position on your temple as you sighed ... again.  How on EARTH did you let him get away with this for so long???  He was barely passing and he was an athlete to boot!  Coaches are usually all over their players to keep their grades up!  You shook your head.  It really wasn't the right time to think about how you and his coach(es) weren't doing your jobs.

Setting two of the tests aside, you glanced through the first page of the first chapter's test.  Being a history teacher (world history specifically; in all honesty though, you had to somehow teach across multiple cultures in a ridiculously crammed schedule), you'd been teaching about Roman and Greek figures in their ancient days from about 300 BC.  Your eyes skimmed through the pages until an answer really, really stuck out to you ... and not in a good way.

"Name the king who had replaced his father, Philip II, at the throne in Macedonia," you had written.  With fear in your eyes, you simply stared at the answer he had written.

 

"Aristotle the Magnificent," he wrote.

 

In almost the blink of an eye, you jumped to your feet and threw Ryōta's test to the floor, panting heavily as you roughly ran your hands through your hair afterward.  All you could picture was the boy's goofy grin and how he was actually confident in his answers.  It still managed to be adorably contagious but it was so, so, _so_ _very_ pitiful.

"There's...  _There is_ _absolutely no way I can help this boy_..."  You were on the verge of cracking.  Immediately turning to your side, you reached for your desk and grabbed the test papers you had graded the other day.  At this point in the class, you were switching to Egyptian history and, once more, due to the lack of time for teaching (you'd covered quite a bit in three months for such large chapters though), you were only talking about pharaohs and their basic accomplishments rather than the pyramids or treasures like you had wanted, unfortunately.  That all being said, the question was fairly simple.

"What was the name of the female pharaoh married to Thutmose II?"  Gulping, you knew Fate was laughing at you because of the answer threatening to come into vision.

 

"Alexandria the Great..." you read to yourself, somehow feeling cells threatening to pop in your brain.

The sound of rain filled your ears soon after and all you could bring yourself to do was drop the test where you stood, grab your apartment's door key, walk outside, step downstairs, and just stand in the rain.

Your landlord and a couple of neighbors approached you and with worry written on their features, asked why you were staring up at the rain like a bird.  You gave but one, simple answer:

_"I need to wash all this sin off my body."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kise does his best.
> 
> I'd like to imagine he can only think of modeling and basketball. He might actually be smart but let's pretend he isn't for the sake of this crackfic.


	3. Digging Your Own Grave, Jumping Inside of It, then Burying Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miss Reader gets a visitor she doesn't even want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno how frequently I'll update this story or even how long it will be (chapter-wise). It probably won't be very long though!
> 
> At the moment though, I've got ideas brewing and I even thought of some ideas for getting romance in this thing while I was finishing this chapter earlier (about 20 minutes ago. ish).

Most likely because you were foolish, your little stunt of standing out in the rain for hours caused you to catch a cold.  Part of you wasn't surprised while another part of you was relieved at the thought of being able to escape from teaching your class for at least a day.  This, however, was just short-lived hope because karma hated you.

Your being sick got worse and you ended up missing another day.  At this point, you found yourself laughing faintly every few hours because no matter what anyone else thought, you brought this entirely upon yourself.  After understanding how you would miss yet another day (this being the upcoming third day specifically), you called the school and told them to prepare a substitute to watch your class because you were getting even closer and closer to the other side.  After an awkward silence, the office lady you were speaking with told you to get better soon and hung up not even seconds after (this only proved how you really didn't seem to care what other people thought, especially in a delirious and feverish state).  At this, you found yourself creepily laughing once more.

On the dawn of the third day (with only 24 hours remaining ... _until the school week ended_ ), you sat up in your bed and despite knowing you looked like something akin to a zombie (hair messed up in multiple directions, eyes void of life, your brain not being able to process anything properly, etc.), you just couldn't bring yourself to care in the slightest.

"Maybe it's about time for me to start living the cat lady life and adopt a few cats," you mumbled to no one in particular, your mind somehow switching gears to how you lived on your own with no one to take care of you.  Much like a Slinky™, your body contorted in a strange shape as you flopped on another part of your bed, knocking the comforter in some random direction into the floor.  You emitted an unusual groaning sound.  " _Ahhhh_ , I don't even _remember_ the last time a guy showed interest in me."  Dragging your body to the bathroom with those words, you stared at yourself in the mirror.  You didn't look like a zombie; you looked a vampire, and not one of those fancy ones that sparkled in sunlight.

 

Lifting both of your hands, you pulled down at both of your cheeks, emitting more groaning noises.  In the midst of your sounds that sounded like a mummy's mating call, you heard your doorbell ring.  With an obvious expression of disgust (you could see the weird face you were making in the mirror through the corner of your eye), you tore your body from the bathroom and, somehow managed to wobble to the front door.  A strong part of you wanted to ignore the person at the door but another part of you didn't want someone thinking no one was home and that your place was up for grabs for whoever wanted your things.

Unlocking the bolt on your door, you let the sound of its needing-to-be-oiled-because-they’re-creaking hinges fill your ears as you came face-to-face with the Devil (i.e. the source of your stress).

 

"Good morning, Ma'am!"  His goofy grin flew on his face as he gave you a salute, the scarf around his neck bouncing with his movements.  He kept grinning despite the fact that you had an expression similar to someone who just witnessed an elephant give birth to a giraffe.

"What...  How...  _Wait_ , shouldn't you be at school?"  You said the last part while turning and looking at the clock on your wall.  At about this time, he should, in fact, be at school ... but here he is instead~.

He nodded his head and held up a bag of ... something you couldn't make out.  Fruit?  Medicine?  "I wanted to help you get better first!  I heard you were sick."  You just continued to stare at him, this time with a blank expression.  "M-Ma'am, if you keep staring at me, I'll get embarrassed!"  He covered his face like a shy schoolgirl and, honestly-speaking, you nearly slammed the door on his face.

Despite being sick, your thoughts were connecting together a bit more compared to before.  "How do you know where I live, Ryōta?"  He blinked and for a split second, you thought he looked like someone who was caught red-handed doing something they shouldn't be doing.  That all got erased when he starting smiling like a goofball once more.

"I asked the people in the office where you lived and they told me!"

An expression of disbelief crossed your features and it didn't take much for you to know he was lying.  You were too scared to ask him in more detail though.

As a way of settling with your thoughts, you gently closed the door (watching the poor boy's face become shocked in the process), locked it, then went back to your room.

 _You were going to pretend none of this happened today_ , you decided while picking your comforter off the floor and crawling back into bed.

  
“Maaaaa’aaaaaaammmmmm…!  _Maaaaaa’aaaaaammmmm_ …!”  You could hear his whining  outside from your room in the back of your apartment.  You stared at your ceiling and sighed.

“He sounds like a female cat going into heat,” you muttered and at that very moment, you decided you’d rather live on your own than with anyone else or with any cats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll prolly work on chapter 4 tonight or tomorrow.


	4. Crying a River, Building a Bridge, Climbing On This Said Bridge, Then Jumping in River of Your Own Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Each time Miss Reader is around Kise, she can feel herself getting just a little bit older.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't as easy to work with, honestly. I was trying to get the "plot" moving and kept shuffling things around. gueh heh heh
> 
> Also, let's aim for aboutttt 10 chapters for this story. I'll mark the chapter total as "10" but it may end up being more than that or even less. Just take it with a grain of salt!

After about 20 minutes of Ryōta standing outside your apartment and whining, you eventually received a call from your landlord to do something about it (lest he raise your rent).

"I don't even know who he is," you said, denying any relation to the boy.

"Looks like you're going to be making a new friend today then," he said in response.  You knew that either meant you "befriending" an officer or befriending the obnoxious teenager trying to get your attention.  While part of you would pick the slammer over the student who somehow knows where you live, you decided it would be best to get this over with.

That's what led you to this point:  you're sitting on your couch and Ryōta, the aforementioned high school student, is sitting in a recliner in front of your coffee table (it was a bit unnerving because he made himself righttttt at home), which was placed directly in front of your beloved couch.  He was sipping on a box of juice (because hey, you liked juice) and you knew you had a look of utter exhaustion written across your features.

"So," you said, getting straight to the point.  "What brings you to my home, Ryōta?  Aside from trying to make me feel better."  You were close to adding on something along the lines of "because we know that's working wonders" but ended up deciding against it.  That being said, the only response you were given was a grin and the sight of the boy reaching over into his school bag and digging for something.

 

"Wellll, you see, Ma'am," he cheerfully spouted as he retrieved a blue folder from his bag.  "I thought I would kill two birds with one stone and have you go over some work with me!"  You sighed and accepted defeat without really putting up a fight because it was just so much more trouble than it was worth.  Within minutes you had taken the boy's homework you had assigned with a due date of next week.  You then started looking it over to see his answers and surprisingly, he hadn't tried answering anything yet.  Glancing up, you found him waiting with a dopey grin on his face.

 

"Ryōta, what is it you need help with?"  You tapped the paper with the backside of your hand while the other was doing its best not to crush the poor paper between your fingers.  At this point, you were glad he asked for help but another part of you (a very large part) couldn't help but assume he only came to you because he didn't feel like trying in your class.

Honestly speaking, that made you want to wring his neck.  Did he want you to do the work _for him_???

He tilted his head with a confused expression on his face.  You may have needed to clarify.

"Ryōta, you haven't tried answering anything on the paper yet."  He grinned once more and a sheepish expression covered his features.

"I, um, need help ... with..."  Even you knew the look on your own face was turning more and more sour by each word (you could feel your own nose flaring) and you knew you were daring him to finish that train of thought.  "...with ... _all of it_."

 

 

You nearly started sobbing in front of a 17-year-old.

 

Your biggest fears became reality and you had to somehow accept it.  With a sigh, you leaned back and sank further and further into your couch.  You'd been teaching this boy for about three months and it was going on four months and you basically have to somehow teach him everything _again_.

Suddenly, you sat up as though you had a grand revelation.

"Ryōta, how important is this history grade?  How much do you need it?"  Though it looked pitiful, you were grasping at straws.

He apparently had a knack for making a confused expression form on his face because he had it again.  "Ma'am, I need this class to graduate.  Don't I?"

Well, there goes that plan.  You sank in your couch again, mumbling incoherent words about how you needed to apparently teach young children instead of high school students.  A sigh soon escaped your lips.

"I guess I'll need to think of a study plan for you, Ryōta," you said, handing him back his homework.  "Try answering those with your textbook and I'll come up with something, okay?  If you're that stuck, use the Internet."

He took his work back and nodded.  " _Thank you, Maaa'aaaaaammmm_ ~!  I'll do just that!"

"Come by my office on Monday after class, okay?  We can go over it more then.  I’ll also go over this assignment with you and see what your...  _your strong points are_ in this class."  You nearly gagged.

Regardless, he seemed pleased by the idea.

You looked down and relaxed a bit.  "I guess I should see you out then?  If you go now, you should be able to make it to school without being too late."

With a cheery nod, he bounced from his seat with his bag on one shoulder and his folder dangling in hand.  You were trailing to the door with you following close enough to open the door for him … when a few papers slipped out of his folder and onto the floor.

"Oh!"  You both exclaimed.  Before he could react, you bent down and plucked the papers up between your fingers.  By habit, you flipped them so the printed sides would face you.

"Is this ... your latest report card, Ryōta?"  Suddenly, the paper was torn from your hands.  You looked up in shock (were his grades just that embarrassingly low?), only to find the boy opening the door.  He turned and smiled warmly.

"I'll see you on Monday, Ma'am~  Oh, and thank you for the juice!" were his last words before you closed the door and for a split second, you wonder if your eyes were playing tricks on you because in those few seconds, you could've sworn he had a grin on his face like he was the Grinch.

" _I'm seeing things, I'm seeing things, I'm just seeing things..."_   You muttered to yourself as you wandered back to your couch.  “ _No one even smiles like that anyway_ _(at least not off of TV)._ ”

You had to just be seeing things.  You were 28 and you were going senile early.  That's what you decided to go with in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually the longest chapter so far (somehow). And the content still ain't that bad yet.
> 
> 1\. I'm going to probably take a little longer with updates because I've noticed I make quite a few typos (they aren't always too big but they're there and they drive me mad). I don't always notice typos in other works but I always notice them everywhere in my own writing!  
> 2\. I mentioned before that the story probably wouldn't be very long ... but I'm going to try and get it to stretch out a bit more so I can write out the scenes (these little babies are the reasons I went with the rating I chose) I've been wanting to write without cramming everything together too much. I basically have a Notepad file of story ideas and it's got scenes in it I'm wanting to use. I nearly shoved 2-3 of those comedic scenes into this chapter but realized it wouldn't work without being rushed/crammed or that chapter would become too long*.
> 
> * I want the chapters to be about the same length and as I already mentioned, this is still the longest chapter so far. x'D


	5. The Train of Thought Has Left the Station and Crashed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miss Reader is old enough to be a spinster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double chapter update!
> 
> I checked this multiple times and edited a lot of stuff.  
> Hopefully I got every obvious mistake (you know, other than the story itself LOL I kid, I kid. I will never take this story away.)

You had  _dreaded_  the idea of Monday arriving because of your possibly-a-psychopath student meeting you in your office after class. Still, you were his teacher and you had to help him whenever he asked. It was your job and honestly, despite the past few days of your negative thoughts, you remembered how you actually enjoyed teaching.

You liked seeing the looks on your students' faces whenever you taught them something that they're surprised happened in the past. Whenever you taught something not many knew about, you felt like you were in on a secret only few knew and this was your chance to rub it in other people's faces-  _Wait, no,_  that is really probably not a good reason to be a teacher. You sighed and before you realized it, Monday arrived and you were sitting in your office while eating lunch.

"I'm going to blink once and I'll fast-forward to my funeral," you muttered to yourself.  _That's just how fast time was_ _passing for you at the moment._  "I don't care if I die as a virgin but I would've at least liked to look back and say I got married or did something constructive." You stared at your food (which was a sandwich of your favorite food combinations) and blinked a couple of times while lost in thought.

Come to think of it, just the other day, you were thinking about how guys didn't show much interest in you. Looking back, there were guys who seemed to be interested in you but never acted on it. Is this why you never dated? Is this why you weren't married? Standing up, you slid your unfinished sandwich back into its cute 'lil baggy and stepped out of your office. There was a restroom not too far away and you needed to check something (of course, you locked your office door because no matter how much you liked most of your students, you didn't trust any of them with your stuff left unattended).

In a matter of seconds, you had made your way into the restroom and found yourself staring at the large mirror behind the sinks ...  _but not without making sure the whole room was empty first_.

 

"Hmmm..." You turned to your side and stared at your profile's reflection. "I know I've put on some weight but I don't  _think_  I'm unattractive. I think." You faced forward once more and looked down at your clothes. Personally, you thought you dressed nicely. Sure, you didn't go through your paychecks at the fancy department store at the mall. Still, you wore nice, non-revealing blouses and generally speaking, some piece of jewelry often accompanied it.

Before you realized it, you'd raised your hand to your face and simply gazed at your confused self. "Am I unattractive though? I don't really have wrinkles forming yet, so I can't look that old..."

Your arms gave up and dropped to your sides. A sigh escaped your lips and you leaned on the nearest wall. How were you supposed to even meet guys if you spent so much time teaching? Add to that how you didn't drink so you never went to bars. You groaned and pulled down at your cheeks.

" _I'm gonna die aloooooneeeeeee_. No one is gonna go to my funeral except for my ghosttttt." You nearly flopped onto the floor and rolled around … but you didn't want to touch a place that may-or-may-not have been mopped recently.

 

Instead, you simply made your way back to your office and grabbed your unfinished sandwich and bag full of teacher-stuff.  "I may as well head back to the classroom," you muttered, dragging your feet along the way with food now hanging out your mouth.

EVERYTHING WAS JUST FRIGGING GREAT. Now your mood sucked and you were about to teach _that boy_ 's class. You contemplated on the thought of just ditching the class to force them to figure the work out themselves but eventually decided against it. That apartment ain't gonna pay for itself. Reaching a decision, you paused just before the classroom doorway. You slapped your cheeks a couple of times with both hands (awkwardly since you were carrying a bag) and breathed _innnnnn_ and _ouuutttt_ before stepping into the classroom. You were going to help a struggling (and strange) student out with his work, so you needed to be prepared!

Once the time for class arrived, the students shuffled to their seats. You began writing on the blackboard and as you taught through the lesson, you chose to keep (what you hoped was) a discreet eye on Ryōta.

This was where your time to shine kicked in.


	6. No Matter What You Say, There's No Way It's My Fault He's Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miss Reader does her best to act like a civilized adult.
> 
> Miss Reader doesn't really have a backbone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of today's update!
> 
> We're getting a little closer to the story's planned ending. :)  
> This is now the longest chapter of the story too!
> 
> I didn't have any phrases I used that suited the chapter so I just sort of made a title up on the spot. It's almost a parody of an anime title we're all probably familiar with to an extent. lulz

Class was in session and you were in "High Alert" mode. It didn't matter what it took; you were going to keep an eye on Ryōta and make sure the boy passed your class. In order to do this, however, you would need to pay attention to how often he took notes (assuming he wrote anything down) and if he seemed to be listening to your lecture.

As you carried with the lesson, you immediately noticed how the blonde boy actually seemed to be writing notes down at every chance he could. He sort of had the appearance of a slacker but he apparently wrote down everything you said. A smile etched itself across your features as you continued the lesson proudly. Your words must have reached him and caused him to try harder. To put it simply, you were giddy. You couldn't believe how excited you were to see the fruits of your labor when he stopped by your office after school.

***

"Ma'am, I can't  _believe_  how easy the class was today! I learned that if I just apply myself to my studies, I can accomplish anything!"

"That's right, Ryōta. Great work today!"

A chuckle escaped his lips.

"Ma'am, I...  _I can't believe how amazing you are_. You're the most phenomenal woman I've ever met and I think...  _I think I_ _want to be with you_." He stared directly into your eyes. You blushed at his forwardness.

"Oh, Ryōta... Just stahp..." you said, bashfully turning away. He grabbed your hands and stared at your face. Almost uncontrollably, you found yourself staring right back.

"I ... I can't get enough of this. Ma'am, I could stare at you all day..." You gulped in response even though your mouth felt dry.  “I think I could eat you up.”

"R-Ryōta..." How was a 17-year-old making you this nervous? Rather than being given an answer, he instead smirked at your timid behavior as he grabbed a stray hair and slid it behind your ear.

"Oh, I wish you could see how cute you  _LOW BATTERY_."

 _Wait, what_? Your body jerked upward and you found your eyes blinking a few times. Oh.  You were in your office.

You were dreaming just now.

You were dreaming of what could've happened whenever Ryōta goes into your office.

Sighing, you waved your hand in front of your face.  _Just pretend it_ _didn't happen_ , you told yourself.

You then looked down and noticed the music player you connected to some speakers had run low on battery power. (You had a smartphone, sure, but you left this cheap, little doo-dad in your office to have music while you worked juuusttt in case you forgot your phone at home.) You must have forgotten to turn it off before you went to class after lunch. That all being said, you finally switched it off and looked up at your clock.

It was close to when Ryōta would probably be arriving; about two hours ago, the school day ended and by this point, he was probably done with ... whatever sports practice he probably did. You decided to keep yourself busy for a bit longer. After about fifteen minutes of sifting through papers, a knock on the door filled your ears. _Your heart_ felt like it was pounding in your throat and _you_ felt like a fool.

"Um, come in!" Yep. You were definitely a fool.

A blonde boy with a goofy grin filled your vision as he entered the room. "Sorry it took so long! I just got out of basketball practice. I changed as fast as I could though!" You smiled and gestured to the seat before your desk. Your nose crinkled. What was that  _smell_?

It didn't take long for you to pin-point it to the boy now sitting before you. He smelled like what it would probably smell like if the school retrieved all the sweat from every student athlete and filled a trashcan with the liquid.

"Oh, don't worry about it Ryōta! If we need to meet after class [ _insert you almost gagging_ ], feel free to take a show- _uh_ , all the time you need to get, ah, dressed." ( _Goodness_ , did this boy need to be scrubbed clean.)

His smile grew and he nodded. With that, he reached in his bag and pulled out his assignment you spoke with him about last week. It wasn't very difficult to answer the problems and it didn't take you very long to go over the whole thing.

"So, how'd I do? I think I answered everything this time!" To put it in simple terms, you were a bit impressed. Not only did he answer every question on the page, he even gave specific examples for historical events on certain questions.  _Was this really the same Ryōta who kept screwing up on his tests??_

"This is... This is great, Ryōta! I can't believe how detailed your answers are!" Red dusted his cheeks and he looked downward.

"I was hoping my effort would show... It was a lot of work but I'm glad you're proud of me, Ma'am," he uttered, sheepishly scratching his cheek. You were practically beaming.

"I think you'll be able to handle the next test just fine. I'm more than positive you can do it." He jumped up from his seat suddenly.

"A-About that!" You blinked at his outburst. "You see, Ma'am, I... I'm really bad at taking tests!" _Well, wasn't that the truth?_ Thankfully, you didn't say that part aloud. "If it's fine with you, could you ... maybe ... tutor me with a practice test or something?" _Staaarreeeeee_. "I have a game on Thursday and our test isn't until next week, so..."

He was staring downward and you gulped. Somehow or another, you had a gut feeling on what he was going to say next. "Uhhh... What is it, Ryō-"

"-Would it be all right if I visited you at your place to study?!" He was breathing heavily and his face was red. You looked at him as though he just kicked you in the face.

"...Well... Ryōta, about that..." You oh-so dearly wanted to tell him that wasn't possible (even in his or your wildest,  _messed up_  dreams) but he stared at you like a puppy would (more specifically, a puppy that had been left out in the rain and you were the first person to give it affection). Part of you just couldn't take it while another part was busy trying to beat up that pity-giving part. "If...  _If_  you can get permission from the school, I'll allow it."

A bright-but-somehow-ominous smile burst onto his face and you'd be lying if you said you didn't regret your decision just then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per usual, I'll update whenever I can.
> 
> I can't wait to write the next chapter though.  
> If I can get away with it, I almost want to make the story about 8 or 9 chapters long instead of 10. Why?  
> Just because I want to know the ending is more in sight than I thought. x'D That doesn't make a whole lot of sense though.


	7. Just Keep That Smile on Your Facial Crevice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Miss Reader took out the gray hairs forming on her head because of Kise, she could make a wig.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Kise's notebook, picture any sort of spiral notebook that opens from left-to-right. It doesn't matter if you think this takes place in Japan or not; from what I've found, notebooks open up the same way universally unlike actual books.
> 
> ***
> 
> The title comes from a conversation I had with a friend. I referred to shapes and dips on a face as "facial crevices" and she said it was creepy because "crevice is a creepy word."
> 
> I responded by saying "bulge is a creepy word." I then proceeded to say something along the lines of, "Imagine if a hobo is behind you on the bus; he's super hairy and he just leans into your ear and whispers, '...bulge.'"
> 
> She only responded by asking me why I was so creepy LOL I told her to put a smile on her facial crevice and to go study the Battle of the Bulge (an American battle) hue hue hue hue hue

Here you were, some days later and spending your weekend by eyeballing the Devil in his blonde, goofy glory. You may have been overreacting, sure, but you went out and bought a metal baseball bat for protection some days earlier (though it was hidden behind the couch because if he was, in fact, crazy, then he might use it against you). Something wasn't right about this boy, that much you knew for sure. He was sitting before you in the same place as last time, kicking his feet back-and-forth (not very well because he was definitely tall enough for his feet to touch the floor) and observing his surroundings as though he were on a field trip.

He had a happy-go-lucky expression and you didn't want to fall for victim to his false, silly charms for even a second. Oh-ho,  _no_ , you were going to make this boy pass your class and move on in life to capture some other poor, unfortunate soul. You almost felt a wicked grin forming on your face. In order to stop yourself, you slapped your cheeks with both hands. Sadly, this only drew attention to yourself.

"Ma'am? Are you all right?" He looked concerned. He  _LOOKED_  concerned. You nodded your head regardless with a smile of your own forming. You didn't want to completely regret giving into the boy's "demands" so you needed to make some form of educational progress with him.

Reaching into a bag you had prepared earlier, you pulled out two manila folders with "Busy Work" written on one and "Practice Test C" written on the other. "Ryōta, I thought we could follow your advice and start with some practice. I'll give you a practice test to take after you try answering the questions on this simple assignment, okay?" He nodded and after you asked him if he brought his class textbook, he nodded once more.

The assignment really was simple: it had ten questions with fill-in-the-blank answers. It was almost like a practice test in of itself except for the fact that it was open-book, where-as he obviously couldn't use the textbook on a test.

Minutes passed and you had gone over simple, yet important parts of the chapter. He would nod his head to the things you'd say (probably to let you know he was listening at least a little bit) and in the middle of his assignment, you'd asked him to take out the notes he had been taking in class. He was a bit confused at that though.

You almost sighed and found yourself going into Almost-Annoyed Teacher Mode. "Ryōta, taking good notes is a very important part of passing any class. You don't just write down everything the teacher says or writes on the board. You need to make note of what sounds like a major topic and take some notes down surrounding that." You set his unopened notebook aside and pulled out a blank piece of paper with a pen on hand. He brought himself closer and watched with what you're assuming was interest written across his features. "In our most recent chapter, we were talking about pharaohs, right? If I mentioned that the pharaoh had many children, you wouldn't need to know the name of every child; you would only need to make note of the one who succeeded in the throne ... assuming that child succeeded the parent. Do you understand? ... _Ryōta, are you_ _listening_?"

You sealed the pen shut and Ryōta nodded his head repeatedly with faintly red cheeks. You blinked. Standing up momentarily, you walked over and turned the A/C on (you did this even though it's gotten colder outside because that boy better be burning up because of the room temperature and not something else), praying he wasn't up to something strange again.

You had a bat on hand if he was up to something, anyway. (Almost automatically, your eyes glanced over to where you had the bat sitting behind the couch. It was your baby.) You then sat back down and started skimming through his notes as he continued working on the short assignment you gave him ("Go ahead and take all the time you need to finish that now, Ryōta," you'd said.). As you skimmed through the notebook, you realized that despite your lecture to the boy, the notes he took were actually fairly well-written.

_That is, until you turned the page._

In the top right corner was a stick figure. It was waving to the viewer, or at least that's what it looked like. Glancing up, you noticed Ryōta was now deep in thought while turning pages back-and-forth in his textbook in hopes of finding answers. You gently turned the page and on the next piece of paper, found another stick figure standing in a slightly different pose in approximately the same spot. You blinked once more. Was he doodling a flip book animation in the corner? Just to be safe, you glanced up one more time to make sure he was focused on his assignment and made your decision to be nosy.

Positioning the notebook between your fingers, you turned to the very last page (if you remembered how these things worked, you had to go to the last page of the notebook and peel back from there), where you found a lonesome stick figure standing in the corner even though the rest of the paper was blank. Ignoring that fact, you lifted the left now-a- _stack_ -of-pages of the notebook and bent them so they were almost lying atop the final stick figure ... but still not bent back too much so you could still see the little guy. Releasing some pressure on your left thumb, the pages fluttered out of your grip almost like a deck of cards. Before your eyes, the simplest form of animation was brought to life. It was almost breath-taking.

  
_Except it wasn't_.

It was just a stick figure twerking.

  
You closed the notebook and dropped it on the floor while you covered your eyes in disappointment.

"Ma'am, I finished the assign-! Wait, is something wrong?" Bags were forming under your eyes as you removed your hand from your line of vision and you just stared at Ryōta as though his family was in debt and even though he had just won the lottery, he spent all of his winnings on tiny, plastic dinosaurs. You couldn't control the sigh escaping your lips as you leaned back against your couch.

Similar to the phrase, " _If a tree falls and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?_ " you wanted to ask " _If you_ _attack a student and bury their body in your backyard, is it your fault if no one finds him?_ " Your favorite mummy-like groan escaped your lips as you pulled down at your cheeks again.

"Why, Ryōta, _whyyyyyyyyy?_ " Thankfully you didn't say that out loud. Instead, you silently grabbed the assignment from his hands and reached into your "Practice Test C" folder, handing him a test to gauge his testing skills.

"I'll do my best, Ma'am!" He looked so happy.

"Yes, I'm sure you will," you said, all traces of hope leaving your mind.

This teenager was going to be the death of you in one way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hoping to get away with 8 or 9 chapters but it looks like we're going to be set in stone for 10 chapters, POSSIBLY even 11.
> 
> Regardless, the end is now in sight! I'm going to try and fit all of my silly, crude jokes in this story before it ends! Yes, the story will reach SOME form of a conclusion and not just be an extremely vague ending like these chapters often end with. : D
> 
> ***
> 
> Believe it or not, the chapters just keep getting longer and longer. I judge how long each chapter will be not by word count but by the size of the file (which is kind of affected by how much I type!). I type these out in Notepad first and keep the folder (containing this story) open in the background with both Notepad and the folder in windowed modes. Once the file reaches about 4-5 KB, I try to find a stopping point.
> 
> In the end though, these latest chapters are reaching ~7-8 KB before I finally stop writing. x'D


	8. Time is Passing So Fast, Wrinkles Are Forming on My Body.  I Shall Soon Become a Single, Giant Wrinkle and Destroy Everything in My Path.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miss Reader doesn't think ahead whenever she makes decisions.
> 
> If she did, a hormonal 17-year-old wouldn't be in her apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter. This chapter was the basis for why I made this story.
> 
> (I am so proud of myself. Also, the title comes from a text I sent one of my friends once because we hadn't talked in a while.)
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you're wearing protection, kids. The first few rows are a splash zone, after all.

"No, Ryōta, for the last time, you may NOT use the textbook for this. It's a practice test; what good would it do if I let you use your book?"

Yes, at this point in time, Ryōta Kise was throwing a bit of a fit because he didn't realize this practice test (you thought there was a hint with the word "TEST") would not be open-book like his short, 'lil assignment you had given him. After enough convincing, you calmed him down and sat back with his "busy work" on hand as he pouted and sank in his seat. With a gleam in his eye, he reached into his bag.  _That couldn't be good_.

"Ah, um, could you do me a,  _uh_... favor, Ma'am?" Your eyes observed every action the boy took and though you didn't necessarily want it to happen, you could feel your facial muscles morphing into a glare. Eyeballing him almost angrily, you were just _waiting_  for him to take that first step,  _waiting_  for him to push your buttons.

"What is it, _Ryōtaaaa_???" If this were a horror movie, your body would've contorted into frightening shapes as you widened your eyes at your own student, more-or-less testing and daring him to make a move that would be unrelated to tutoring.

Instead of getting the scared reaction you wanted, however, he simply glanced at you with red cheeks and it looked like he shifted in his seat a bit as he held his bag close to his frame (his hand still in the bag).

"Well, you see... I was wondering if you'd wear ...  _these_." Blink, blink went your eyes, much like a fish. In Ryōta’s hand now sat a pair of red-framed glasses. "I saw you wearing glasses once in class and thought they looked nice... so..." There was a catch, wasn't there? There was ALWAYS a catch. "...so, uh, yeah. Would you mind trying them on, Ma'am?"

You wanted to say "no." You wanted to take back getting a job teaching this boy's class. _You regretted so much in just the past couple of weeks_.

Instead, you said something else because you were a pitiful fool. "If I put those on, will you do everything in your power to just pass my class?"

 

  
His smile beamed and he nodded his head furiously. He was excited … to say the least. "Thank you so much! I'm sure they'll look great on you!!"

Silently, you grabbed the glasses that were probably purchased with impure thoughts and slid them on your face, the frames relaxing atop your ears and nose. The boy before you looked your way with an unreadable expression (even though he was still smiling and you thought it was weird) written across his features. He blinked and nodded his head.

"R-Right, we're missing one more thing," he said, jumping to his feet. You stared at him with annoyance filling your exhausted eyes. "Ah, don't worry, Ma'am! I'll start on my test right after this!" With that being said, you watched him as a sense of panic floated into your head. He approached you and reached into his pocket, pulling out what looked like a hair clip.

... _You didn't want to ask where he got that from_. Ryōta leaned onto the side of the couch you weren't occupying and you found yourself emitting an unusual hissing-like sound as you backed away from him. His expression then turned sheepish in response.

"Oh, come on, Ma'am! I just wanted to put your hair up!"

"Why, Ryōta?! This isn't a fashion show, it's a tutoring lesson! And neither you nor I are learning _squat_ right now!"

"I'll... _I'll make this the last time I'll bother you for help with class!_ " This caught your attention and you froze with interest (even though as a teacher, you had no right to be interested in the possibility of him not bothering you for academic aid). "I just... I really wanted to see what you'd look like with your hair up and those glasses on at the same time, Ma'am. At least until I went home." Aw,  _geez_ , the boy looked like he was about to start crying. Even if he was faking the waterworks, you couldn't hide the shame building in your gut because you were a  _COWARD WHO DIDN'T LIKE MAKING_ _PEOPLE SAD_. You sighed. If it turned out he was faking his sadness, you would move on in life, knowing you couldn't read the emotions on people very well.

"Just until you finish the test, okay, Ryōta?" In almost an instant, his sadness was erased and he looked absolutely overjoyed. Hopefully you didn't make a bad decision just then.

You couldn't hide the feeling of unease and regret as it swam in your stomach. Even so, you took the hairclip from him and placed your hair into a messy bun (even if you thought it looked weird or that your hair didn't work with bun styles).

"Ah, um, one more thing?" You looked up at Ryōta as he placed himself in the floor as a way of using the table between the furniture as a desk. He almost seemed embarrassed as he shifted a bit in his seat. "If I get anything wrong, would you mind ...  _correcting me_  on the answers? You can be as brutal as you have to be. You know, if you think it'll help me remember the answers more!" With a simple nod, you were glad Ryōta seemed to be caring more about his work than before.

It didn't take long for him to get to work. Ryōta picked up the pseudo test and began to work with an almost extreme amount of focus as you went over his short assignment. Somehow or another, he had gotten all the answers right. A frown formed itself on your lips as you found yourself glaring at the blonde through the paper you held in your fingers. Was he really that helpless without a textbook placed in front of him?? If he would just try and STUDY before a test, he wouldn't fail them so badly! You tried to sigh as quietly as possible as you stared at the clock on your wall. Despite your unyielding frustration building up, time (slowly) passed and eventually, Ryōta’s completed test was placed in front of you as pride was written across his features.

"I think I made a good decision to have you tutor me, Ma'am! I'm ready for anything now. I'm sure I'll be able to die with no regrets!" You were beyond confused at that last comment but decided to shrug it off. In the corner of your eye, noticed Ryōta as he crawled to the spot on the couch beside you ... but thankfully not too close once he took his seat on the worn-out piece of furniture. You reached for a red pen and for a moment, thought the boy shifted in his seat once more as he leaned closer in interest.

"I want to watch you grade my papers," he muttered, his tone of voice changing a bit.

Wait,  _what_? "How come?" This caught your attention and forced you to look his way.

"Please, Ma'am." His face was red. He was sweating a tad. It was kind of gross.

You reached up to remove the glasses, only to be stopped by the strange child beside you. " _No, wait!_ " You stared at him with an expression of slight disgust embedded into your skin. "Leave them on, please." You decided not to say anything as you dragged yourself away from him another fraction but left them on nonetheless.

He leaned a bit closer (making your efforts of moving away quite fruitless) and looked over your shoulder, observing as you hesitantly turned your attention back to his test. Regaining at least a small part of your focus, you looked down and, unsurprisingly, found irritation bubbling in your gut. This time, you couldn't control the strict words you very much wanted to remain sealed.

"Oh, Ryōta, this answer isn't right. You answered everything right on the handout I gave you, so you should know better." With the red pen in hand, you slashed through the answer as though the utensil were a blade (following with writing the correct answer beside it). The only response the boy gave you was a faint grunt as he continued to watch you work. That response simply caused more irritation to form because it seemed like he didn't care. He'd gotten the answer wrong and from the short glance you'd given the rest of the test, it wasn't the only one of its kind. If he didn't care, you certainly weren't going to make yourself care either.

With a slight raise of your red pen, you began slicing through his multiple, incorrect answers. It was as though you were controlling the fate of many just by knowing their names and faces. If you wrote their names down and pictured that said individual, their demise was certain.

Unfortunately, these were already deceased, historical figures. Had you any power, you would have very much wanted to write Ryōta’s name down with these people. "Ryōta, you need to study if you're going to pass this class. If you're not studying, you may as well drop out and live like a pig." A faint noise was released from the boy and it made a disturbed shiver run up your spine (and sadly not in a good way).  _You felt like you were being watched_.

Creaking your head, you slowly let your eyes turn toward the source of the unusual sound. Beside you was a red-faced, sweaty teenager who looked like he was doing his best not to faint.

"More... Grade it more..." Goosebumps filled with discomfort crawled up your spine. This was getting really, really weird.

"I really don't think I want to..." you mumbled, sliding as far away from the teenager as possible.  "Ryōta, are you burning up? Wait, I turned the A/C on earlier. No, no, no, no, Ryōta, you look like a sweaty tomato. You should not look like a  _sweaty tomato for many legal reasons_!"

He lifted up his head a bit, a verrryyyyy awkwardly-placed emotion reflecting in his eyes. "M-Ma'am... Grade the paper some more ... and tell me how I could've done a better job."

You had a very bad feeling about what was going on with the boy, and it certainly wasn't a cold. You jumped off the couch and grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be a broom (you’d forgotten about your bat). You then commenced with smacking him with it repeatedly. "Ryōta, that is gross! Stop it!"

"... _I'm close, Ma'am_." Nonononononononononono!!

"No! Not on my couch, you're not!" With strength you didn't know you had, you reached for the boy's shirt and threw him into the floor.

That was when he suddenly let out a loud, high-pitched groan, much like a dinosaur letting out its final cry just before death. He then seized up like a dying spider, curling inward with his body spasming as he foamed at the mouth.

 

  
Your face landed in your hands.

"If this doesn't get me fired and sent to prison, I don't know what will..." You looked over at your couch. "At least my couch made it out alive..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was the choice I made with no regrets.  
> My closest friends died on the way, but hey, at least I got promoted into being a Colonel or Captain or whatever translation people settle on. (If you don't get this stupid joke, you don't have to worry about it.)
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, and the last two chapters should be posted by the first of June. I plan on making it another duo-update.  
> Yup. We are almost done! This will be the first "series" I complete. :'D I'll have the script for this story printed on a shirt and I'll wear it in public. (I'm lying. I won't have it printed on a shirt; it'll be a bag so people will see it everyday. ...Okay, I won't print it.)
> 
> Lastly... Everything in this story happens for a reason. I'll have this section down here be used for "notes" for this story (and why I wrote what I wrote, explain some jokes, etc.) whenever I post the final chapter. They'll be on the last chapter 'n stuff.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me so far! My sense of humor is awkward and a bit messy but I'm glad there are people who like it! Any kudos left for me make me so stupidly giddy.


	9. I Love You, You Love Me.  Let's Push Ryōta Off a Tree!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miss Reader lets her emotions get to her.
> 
> Again.
> 
> She always lets her emotions get to her.

"Ryōta, get out of my house." You meant "apartment" but you were too frustrated to care. The boy finally removed himself from the floor and looked remotely composed (aside from his now-messed up clothes). He had an expression of regret and though he smiled, it didn't reach his eyes. ( _Probably, anyway.)_

"But I...!" You glared at him, this time not bothering to hide your anger and for once, he cowered down. "No, I'm sorry. I'll leave." With that, he gathered his things and stepped outside, not once meeting your face as he exited your apartment with a wet spot on the front of his pants. You wanted to pull your own hair out because if the wrong person heard what he was doing (or saw him leave, actually), you could easily lose your job as a teacher. Even worse, you could end up in jail. Though you would've picked jail-time over the boy before, it was now just forced upon you as a likely possibility that tried to destroy your future plans.

For the rest of the day, you could only think of how all the horrible things in life seemed to be following you around. All you could do then was let out a drawn-out, stress-filled groan as you pulled down at your cheeks.

It was at that moment where you wondered just how the boy was even able to get permission from the school to visit your home. You really didn't understand him and part of you wasn't sure if that's what you even wanted.

***

Once Monday arrived, you were almost entirely convinced to just skip work. You decided instead to show a sense of maturity; if the _possibly-but-now-more-likely-mentally-unstable_ blonde showed up to class and you weren't there, it would make you look bad (in what way, you didn't really know; it was just a gut feeling in the end). On the same coin, however, he may have ditched class in order to avoid you. Part of your stomach dropped when that thought crossed your mind ... even though this was all mostly his fault, anyway.

Despite your thoughts, you were a bit surprised to find him in his seat once you stepped into the classroom later that day.

In a way, it was almost as though your life had gone back to normal. It was almost as though Ryōta Kise had never approached you in your office for help to pass your class. As the thought floated throughout your mind, eventually days had gone by and soon enough, a week had gone by. Somehow or another, you weren't ever reported to the office.  Realistically-speaking though, you lived in an area where not many people from the school wandered. It wasn't dangerous so much as it was just out of the way. Part of you knew there wasn't going to be a big issue made out of the blonde's "visit" to your home ... unless he made a case about it. Somehow, though, you didn't think he would. With that thought crossing your mind, the day soon arrived where your class was to face their next test.

During that time, all that filled your ears were the sounds of pencils hurriedly pressing against paper. Though you found yourself paying attention to Ryōta’s actions, he acted just as he always did. When you took the tests home to grade that night, you quickly graded Ryōta’s, finding he passed the test with an almost-perfect score. In a way, that made you feel a bit sad. You couldn't bring yourself to grade anymore papers and decided to just call it a day. Almost as though it were a part of your everyday life, you found yourself groaning once more before falling asleep.

As you forced your body to class the next morning, you felt like you were carrying the weight of the world atop your shoulders. You couldn't bring yourself to smile very often and whenever you did, it felt entirely insincere and forced. Honestly, you weren't sure why you were so upset; the blonde student that crossed your mind always brought you discomfort and feelings you didn't like having.

With a sigh, you eventually (and begrudgingly) continued teaching the day away. As the clock seemed to tick by ever so slowly, you began to wonder if getting a cat would be all that bad of an idea. You were so wishy-washy about your decisions and your thoughts alike that you just couldn't bring yourself to care to pay complete attention in class, not even when Ryōta entered the room with a grin on his face as though he were going about his day just as before. Not long after class started, a knock resounded throughout the room and the only thing you remembered hearing was the student aid telling you how you were needed in the secretary's office.

As though it were the most natural thing to do, you glanced toward Ryōta, your suspicions getting the best of you. He seemed to be just as confused as you were, and the last thing you remember saying was for the class to just study until you got back. With your head hung low, you made your way to the office where your fate would probably be sealed. You would be lying if you said your heart wasn't hammering in your throat like a drum. All you could do was expect the worst.

Raising your fist, you knocked on the door. After you heard a muffled "come in," you stepped inside the red velvet-like room (and wondered if this was what all your taxes from your paycheck went into) and closed the door behind you. A new feeling of confidence surged through your body and you were going to speak before giving up. The older woman with a name you couldn't quite place called out to you and laced her fingers together before leaning onto her desk.

"Something has come to the school's attention and the faculty thought we should discuss it before it got out of hand," she said, looking you in the eye. This was where you would make your last stand.

You walked over and slammed your hands on her desk.

"You'll have to tear this job away from my cold, dead fingers!" A shocked expression replaced the poor, old woman's previous, more serious one. She seemed confused. Well, you weren't going to let that fool you. "I love teaching! A single pack of ramen is worth more than my annual paycheck but I am never giving this up. I will not let such a foolish mistake bring me down. I'm reaching for the stars! You'll have to grab me by the legs if you want to pull me back to the ground."

"I was just going to say-" The door to the office slammed open. You and the secretary before you jerked your heads in the direction of the door and bore witness to a certain panting, blonde teenager. How he was covered in sweat, you wouldn't know; your classroom wasn't even a two-minute walk from this office ... and he was supposed to be in sports, right?

"You can't fire her! It's all my fault!" You both stared at Ryōta in shock. "I'm only 17! I have the drive of a 10-year-old who can't stop eating candy!" He stepped forward, you backed away, and he slammed his own hands on the desk, much like you did only moments before. "She's the best teacher I've ever had and no one could replace her! Isn't that right, you guys?!"

This confused you even more and as you stepped toward the doorway, you noticed a small crowd of the students you teach (or rather, they were the class you just left to study). They were gathered around the office?

"She makes history kind of fun!"

"Don't fire our favorite teacher!"

"This is the only class I'm passing and she's the reason for that!"

"I like to stare at her butt when she writes on the board!"

 _Silence_.

"Don't take our teacher away!"

You were nearly moved to tears (except for that comment about your butt; you almost looked back at your rump as you wondered if it was too big or if it was just normal in size). All your students really cared about you. You'd basically just gotten a standing ovation.

The secretary raised both of her arms in the air and walked out. "I was just going to say the faculty decided she needed to take time off because she looked sick again. Why would she get fired?! _And stop hitting my desk!_ " Her voice volume got less and less audible as she made her way down the hall, still talking with her arms never dropping from the air.

You smiled and turned to your students.

"Thanks, you guys. That meant a lot." Your day couldn't have gotten any better and for once, you meant that in a good way.

You even smiled at Ryōta before returning to the classroom. Even though he was hormonal, he wasn't a bad person. _Probably._

You made your way through teaching that day, not once looking at the clock again and, thankfully, never got fired.

  
Later that day, you practically skipped home and plopped onto your couch face-first. For the first time in a while, you were genuinely happy.

Sadly, that happiness found an interruption with the sound of your doorbell ringing. Once you dragged yourself to the door and unlocked it, you came face-to-face with Ryōta Kise; AKA the Not-so-Bad Devil.

He smiled awkwardly.

"Hey, Ma'am. _Can we ... talk?_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left to goooooo.
> 
> (This chapter was a pain to write because I was really wanting to reach the final chapter. That being said, I revised this one a lottttttt.)


	10. Sharing is Caring Until You Don't Get Your Stuff Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then Miss Reader lived Happily Ever After.
> 
>  
> 
> Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last hoorah. This is what we've been building up towards.  
> I found it to be a glorious waste of time and I'm strangely proud of it.

Placed before you sat the teenager who had been overwhelming your thoughts. Though he did more than enough to make you uncomfortable, you still couldn't find it in yourself to not allow him a chance to explain his actions, especially with what took place earlier on campus.

Instead of him immediately jumping the gun to open his mouth, however, he simply sat still on the couch beside you and stared at a small area on the floor, not once looking up to make eye contact. You frowned and leaned a bit closer to the boy (much unlike the way you would usually act around him; somehow, it didn’t bother you like it used to).

"Ryōta? Aren’t you going to say something?" He glanced toward you and bit his lip, turning his gaze away from your eyes immediately after. He opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it once more as though he had something he was trying to say. You sat up and away from him and tried to be patient with the boy.

"...I..." Your ears perked up at his voice. "Ma'am, _I_...  _You_..." You placed your hands together atop your lap and silently waited for him to finish speaking. "… _I_ …  I’m _sorry_ \- For making you uncomfortable around me all the time,  _I'm sorry_." He looked toward you with a silly grin on his features and stood from his seat with his bag now in hand. "I won't bother you anymore with needing help in class. I noticed if ... if I actually apply myself, I can pass your class with no issues." He started walking toward your door, turning to face you one last time. "Thanks for-"

You knew you probably shouldn't have done what you did.

Even so, _even though_ you knew better, you couldn't control yourself. He brought the urge out of you and you knew that for a fact as his amber eyes bore into your own.

  
You ran over to him and kicked him  _right_  in the nads.

  
He keeled over (face turning a blue-to-purple shade), dropping his bag as he landed on the floor and held his hands over his crotch like a shield. "...... _Ryōta Jr. is down_...!"

  
A glare found itself on your face and you found untapped anger being unleashed.  All you saw was red.

  
"Is that  _it_? You expect me to believe that you came all the way to my home, asked for tutoring, violated my carpet, and _that's_  the last thing you're going to say to me?!" This was it. _You finally cracked_. "I've been under so much stress for the past few weeks because of _you_. Is this the new  _fad_  for teenagers?! You cause your lonely teachers grief and BOOM, once you're bored,  ** _you leave them in a ditch to die_**!"

His eyes then widened and resembled saucer plates. "I-"

You cut him off with drastic arm movements and the tone in your voice, which was now breaking because you weren't used to yelling or talking loudly for “long-ish” periods of time. "I AM  _NOT_ DONE YET, YOUNG MAN." He gulped and nodded his head, unsure of what to say or do next. "I... I could actually _feel_  myself getting older as I dealt with your attitude! I just can't even- I know this is just an everyday thing for you high school kids but I'm almost 30!" At this point, you wouldn't be surprised if you were crying ... but you were too focused on your speech to care. "My feelings are not made of steel like yours are..." You sniffled and that only confirmed your suspicions. _You were now sobbing in front of a 17-year-old_.  You muttered something akin to "I don't get paid enough to be this stressed" and "I can't even afford a vacation" while furiously wiping away at your eyes.

That was when you felt arms wrap around you. Ryōta was giving you a hug and you couldn't see his face (but you could tell he was standing in a funny way since he just got hit in the junk). He sighed as he pat the back of your head.

"I'm sorry. I really mean it, Ma'am. I... I didn't realize I was stressing you out so- No, I think I kind of knew. I was teasing you and I liked your reactions; I should have known I was only hurting you though," he muttered quietly and you had to strain your ears to hear everything he had to say.

"Did you get your fill of enjoyment then?  The circus is closing now." You were still sour toward him but you couldn't bring yourself to push the boy away from yourself. He seemed sincere for once and you were just too tired to care.

He let you go and he stood back, staring downward to the floor as if contemplating on something. "Ma'am, I need to show you something." He retrieved his bag and grabbed a folder from inside. "I've been keeping it to myself but after all of ... _this_ happened, I think you should know." Pulling out a simple piece of paper, he handed it to you and it carried a sense of familiarity to you.

"Ryōta, is this your report card?" He nodded. You looked downward and immediately noticed something. " _You're making nearly perfect grades except for in **my**  class_?!" He looked away and you nearly tore the paper in half while thinking of different ways to claw at his face.

Instead of getting too swept away by your anger though, you sighed and gave him the benefit of the doubt. He couldn't have been  _that_  bad at history and when you asked him, he simply shook his head. "No, Ma'am, I'm not. Actually, you teach in a way that's easy to understand."

You tilted your head, letting out a huff. "Then why?"

That was when he chose to pull out his cellphone from his pocket. "You started teaching at our school back when I first got into high school." He quit fiddling with his phone and stared at it, tension clouding his expression … which immediately melted into a smile. "I remember the day I met you too; it was raining outside after school and that morning, I didn't remember to take a coat with me or even an umbrella." Turning his phone around, you could see a picture of yourself on the screen. You were drenched and squeezing the water out of your long skirt as you stared outside; he'd gotten a picture of your profile somehow. "Just before I was going to just give up and run home in the rain, you showed up. You probably ran home and grabbed your umbrella to give to a student who forgot theirs." He lowered his phone down, now smiling at you instead of the picture. "I happened to be the student who forgot theirs. Without even thinking twice, you handed me your white, flower-covered umbrella. It looked too cute for me to use but I couldn't say 'no' when you offered it while being soaked from head-to-toe."

You stared at him.

 

You reallllyyy stared at him.

 

 _That_  was where your umbrella went?? With a slow drop of your head, you stared at the floor. You could've sworn you just left it somewhere. Suddenly, the memories clicked together and you remembered ... _what actually happened_.

You didn't run home to get your umbrella for some forgetful student! You ran home because you forgot some paperwork and grabbed your umbrella while you were at home. Without even watching the weather, you'd run to school without your umbrella and didn't think twice about it until later. Even though you weren't new to teaching, you were new to this school and forgot your things at home all the time for a while.

Your eyes widened.

 _That was when_ you saw a student sitting inside and digging through his bag. Right away, you knew he didn't have anything to protect himself from the rain aside from his flimsy bag. You had looked up at your opened umbrella and frowned. Negative thoughts crossed the pessimistic side of your mind and you closed the umbrella before going inside and handing it to the boy who was sitting on the floor and fiddling with his cellphone, probably texting his friends.

You didn't hand him the umbrella to be  _nice_.

  
You did it to save your conscience because he could become a statistic on his run home, whether it be from getting sick or getting hit by some oncoming vehicle. Honestly, you wouldn't have cared if  _you didn't notice_  that he needed something to protect himself from the rain.  You didn't even like letting others touch your stuff, especially high school students.

  
_Wait, you didn't even get the umbrella back!_  That was when Ryōta chuckled and his laugh filled your ears.

 

"I wanted to give you the umbrella back but I was just 15 or 16 at the time and couldn't work up the nerve to talk to you."

 

You stopped and thought about how such cheesy scenarios probably never really happened in real life but ended up deciding on letting the boy dream away. (Even _if_ you were miffed about not getting your stuff back.) Suddenly, you felt a hand touch your face and you remembered you had been staring at the floor and looked back up, meeting Ryōta’s own eyes. He was smiling just as before. You so very much wanted to look away because you were somehow getting nervous just from looking at him.

"When I teased you, I wasn't trying to mock you. I really liked your reactions because I l-..." Ryōta froze, cutting himself off. "Ma'am, I, uh, I l-lo..." He cut himself off once more, laughing with an obvious tone filled with unease. Your heartbeat quickened and you were a bit scared to assume what it was he wanted to say. A strange feeling of hope was pooling itself in your stomach as you waited for him to continue. "It's harder to say than I thought it'd be," he whispered to himself (but you were still able to hear him).

Still, you wanted him to finish. "What is it, Ryōta?"

He removed his touch from your face and grabbed your hands. "Ma'am- No, wait, would it be okay if I called you by your name?" Your eyebrows knitted together a bit but you couldn't deny the quickened heartbeats in your chest. With a slight nod, you gave your consent. "Having a low grade was the only way I could work up the guts to talk to you. You see... I love you and I always have, _______." The expression on Ryōta’s face was the perfect representation of joy.

Alas, the expression on your face wasn't quite mirroring his and the strange feelings you weren't used to bubbling in your belly stopped short. "Ryōta, how did you even pronounce my name just now?"

  
***

You and Ryōta had long-since given up on standing awkwardly by the door and had taken to the couch. You weren't touching but you were sitting close enough to show you didn't mind him being around.

"Ryōta, some things have been bothering me." He turned your way, emitting a faint "hmm?" in the process. "Well, first, how did you get everyone to wait outside the secretary's office?"

"I told everyone you were going to get fired and they followed."

You would accept that answer ... for now. Just like before, you were sure Ryōta was leaving a few details out of his stories. "And if I ask how you got permission to come over to my apartment?"

"I asked the school just like I was told to do."

You stared and knew that was all you were going to get.

"...Why did you ...  _violate_  my floor?"

He smiled almost ... deviously. "I, ah, like it when you get mad at me. I was just messing around at first but then I kinda got into it when you were getting strict."

".........Ryōta, that's just unsanitary and weird."

A dopey smile spread across his cheeks.

"I'm  _your_ weirdo though, right?"

You smiled back, almost wanting to ask if you could trade him in for a different weirdo.

  
Though the two of you had astronomical differences, it wasn't all that bad when you reached over and took his hand.

 

Then he killed the mood.

  
"Are we gonna do naughty stuff now?" He was practically wagging his non-existent tail.

"No." He whined at your response.

"Why not??? After the reconciliation scene, people always go at like rabbits it afterward!" You looked at him as if he were trying to lay an egg with his mouth.

"Ryōta, I'm almost 30. I'm not going to mess around with a high school student and possibly get pregnant, then get stuck with a child to raise."

He laughed, pretending to be hurt. "Not even a little bit of touching? Awww, d-don't you love me?"

  
You laughed as well. "I never said I did, did I?"

His face became as white as a sheet and unlike the Ryōta you'd been used to, he started crying.

  
Ahhh...

This wasn't so bad, after all. That was when you realized you quite liked saying what was on your mind.  The sight of his tears made you feel better about yourself, especially after everything he had put you through.

 

~~(You forgot about your umbrella again.)~~

 

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some super amazing and fun after-the-story notes!
> 
> Now, you may (or may not) be wanting to ask me this:  
> Could I have made this longer? The answer is... possibly.
> 
> I had really just planned on just revealing Kise's reasons for acting the way he did and ending it there from the get-go.
> 
> * "Kise is an idiot and he gets sexually aroused from watching his teacher give him bad grades." Of all things, THAT was what made the plot. The idea came from the famous fic idea that the he is masochistic. I just twisted it around and made it beyond ridiculous. It wasn't until halfway through the story though where I thought, "Wait; what if Kise isn't as dumb as he looks? What if he's actually in love with his teacher? LAWL I'll do that since it can mix together and still make sense (but about as much sense as this story makes, anyway)."
> 
> * Kise was kind of yandere-ish, wasn't he? I could've followed the yandere route rather than just keeping it at the "I'll get what I want when I want it" story ... but then this would've been longer and the point was to make a semi-short crackfic (even though it's at ~10,000 words now huehue).
> 
> * I found some inspiration to write this from garbagedump's and Rockinmuffin's fics on this site (though I've been creepily following Rockinmuffin's stories from Lunaescence). The sense of humor ain't quite the same (as each other's or even my own compared to either of theirs) but their stories inspired me to make something not very serious because sometimes those stories are needed when you're tired of reading a typical romance after romance after romance.
> 
> * In the future, I may write a couple of spin-off drabbles/one-shots about these two from this story in particular, as this isn't the type of Kise I would generally write about. lulz (I would make a "series" section on this site if I did that rather than update this story.)
> 
> * Now, to explain some jokes! I know you were all interested in that (*sarcasm*).  
> \- C.02 & C.10: The "_________" on Miss Reader's name tag and what Kise called her both poke fun at reader-inserts in general. Fun fact: if you use the [Name] template, you can easily replace the text by using the Chrome InteractiveFics add-on! I hope I just made your reader-insert reading 10x more fun!  
> \- C.02 - Kise's test was based off of what I'd just learned in my spring 2016 college semester I just finished last month! It's not really a JOKE per se, but it's where I got the idea.  
> \- C.03 - hahaha have you ever OWNED a female cat that goes in heat? That's one of the most obnoxious cries you'll ever hear. Mine likes to walk over to my feet and put her butt near me and it's weird. Once, I was napping and I woke up to her butt near my face. "Oh, NO EW, KITTY"
> 
> ~~~~
> 
> With these notes set aside, I hope you enjoyed reading this (even if it was just something done out of boredom and it helped pass time)!
> 
> I would like to get back into writing one-shots soon. If you'd like to follow my future writings, I also have a tumblr page I've left the link to on my Ao3 profile.
> 
> Thank you for reading (once again)!


End file.
